How To Build Self-Compassion
14 Strategies to Foster Self-Compassion in Clients – Counselor Brief
I’m thrilled to share my recent contribution to Counselor Brief in the article “14 Strategies to Foster Self-Compassion in Clients.” In this piece, I focus on helping clients, especially those who are highly goal-oriented, cultivate self-compassion by increasing self-awareness, challenging inner narratives, and redefining how they view themselves.
The following is my contribution piece:
Self-compassion can be difficult for many people, especially for goal-oriented or outcome-driven individuals. Multiple factors interfere with people showing themselves grace, including expectations, family systems, work culture, and, at times, interpersonal relationships.
Nevertheless, self-compassion can be cultivated by becoming aware and noticing how a person views themselves and the language they use toward themselves. Awareness allows an individual to decide whether or not that is something they want to change. It's difficult to alter self-perceptions when people aren't aware of them.
The next step is the examination phase. I encourage clients to notice how their thoughts and dialogue emotionally impact them. If they feel energetic and their mood improves, it seems they are moving in the right direction. However, if clients notice that they become frustrated, overly critical, or sad after becoming aware of their views, then this can be an opportunity for growth and change.
For individuals unsure of where to start, I suggest asking themselves, "How would I like to see myself?" Alternatively, clients can consider, "How do I view the people I love and care for?" as a template. Most people, I suspect, would like to see themselves positively, which in turn improves their emotional well-being because they are actively challenging unhelpful perceptions of themselves instead of holding on to them. This process also allows individuals to define themselves on their own terms, which can be empowering.
Self-compassion does not occur overnight. It takes time, awareness, change, adaptation, and repetition. For people unaccustomed to showing themselves kindness, this action can feel strange or uncomfortable. Please note that you're asking yourself to do something you've never done before. It's not supposed to feel comfortable. During the change phase, I encourage people to incorporate flexibility, utilize positive language (e.g., affirmations), and show themselves grace.
This process promotes awareness, self-examination, autonomy, and empowerment because people decide how they view and treat themselves. This experience can also enhance their emotional resilience by trusting their ability to deal with unpredictable situations.
