14 Strategies to Foster Self-Compassion in Clients

I’m thrilled to share my recent contribution to Counselor Brief in the article “14 Strategies to Foster Self-Compassion in Clients.” In this piece, I focus on helping clients, especially those who are highly goal-oriented, cultivate self-compassion by increasing self-awareness, challenging inner narratives, and redefining how they view themselves.

The following is my contribution piece:

Self-compassion can be difficult for many people, especially for goal-oriented or outcome-driven individuals. Multiple factors interfere with people showing themselves grace, including expectations, family systems, work culture, and, at times, interpersonal relationships.

Nevertheless, self-compassion can be cultivated by becoming aware and noticing how a person views themselves and the language they use toward themselves. Awareness allows an individual to decide whether or not that is something they want to change. It's difficult to alter self-perceptions when people aren't aware of them.

The next step is the examination phase. I encourage clients to notice how their thoughts and dialogue emotionally impact them. If they feel energetic and their mood improves, it seems they are moving in the right direction. However, if clients notice that they become frustrated, overly critical, or sad after becoming aware of their views, then this can be an opportunity for growth and change.

For individuals unsure of where to start, I suggest asking themselves, "How would I like to see myself?" Alternatively, clients can consider, "How do I view the people I love and care for?" as a template. Most people, I suspect, would like to see themselves positively, which in turn improves their emotional well-being because they are actively challenging unhelpful perceptions of themselves instead of holding on to them. This process also allows individuals to define themselves on their own terms, which can be empowering.

Self-compassion does not occur overnight. It takes time, awareness, change, adaptation, and repetition. For people unaccustomed to showing themselves kindness, this action can feel strange or uncomfortable. Please note that you're asking yourself to do something you've never done before. It's not supposed to feel comfortable. During the change phase, I encourage people to incorporate flexibility, utilize positive language (e.g., affirmations), and show themselves grace.

This process promotes awareness, self-examination, autonomy, and empowerment because people decide how they view and treat themselves. This experience can also enhance their emotional resilience by trusting their ability to deal with unpredictable situations.

I’m excited to share my recent contribution to HispanicNews.org in the article, “Advice for Healthcare Providers on Serving the Latino Community.” In this piece, I offer insights on how health providers can build stronger, more culturally attuned relationships with Latinx clients.

The following is my contribution:

Connecting with clients of diverse backgrounds is crucial to improving treatment adherence, promoting the continuation of services, and avoiding early termination. When working with the Latinx community, I suggest patient-centered care, respect for cultural beliefs, and proactive learning.

When focusing on patient-centered care, some aspects to consider are having a non-judgmental approach, providing services in the client's native language, and building a connection with them. Members of the Latinx community may hesitate to seek services due to time constraints, mistrust in the healthcare system, limited financial resources, or fear. For that reason, when they do seek services, providers are in a unique position to provide a corrective or positive experience. When Latinx clients express their problems, providers can validate their concerns and avoid assuming an authoritative role. I'd recommend viewing the interaction as a collaborative process where providers take the time to explain their responses clearly and minimize jargon.

Furthermore, it's critical to provide services in the client's native language. Agencies can mitigate linguistic concerns by having bilingual staff or translation services available. In alignment with patient-centered care, providers can assess their Latinx clients' needs by asking them how they can make their experience more comfortable. For some individuals, this may include family or loved ones in the room with them. Making these types of accommodations, when possible, can decrease their anxiety and promote comfort.

Providers don't need to be experts on the Latinx community to provide quality treatment. Instead, it's crucial to be respectful of their views, values, and experiences. For example, in my practice, many Latinx clients are hesitant to take psychotropic medication. I validate their concerns and encourage them to ask questions to the designated professionals to help them make an informed choice. Other clients prefer natural remedies, community healers, or religion instead. I'd avoid challenging their protective factors but instead, focus on working alongside them. If a provider is unaware of cultural beliefs, I invite them to become curious and ask questions. Agencies can take a proactive approach by facilitating cultural sensitivity training or courses.

Developing culturally sensitive spaces takes time. People reading and comprehending this information are already taking steps in the right direction.

I'm thrilled to contribute to the Counselor Brief on Resources and Strategies for Supporting Clients Facing Domestic Violence and share insights from my work with survivors of intimate partner violence (IPV). Supporting IPV survivors is a complex and delicate process, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to highlight key strategies that can help counselors provide informed and compassionate care.

The following is my piece:

Working with survivors of intimate partner violence (IPV) is unique and complex. It's difficult to identify an abusive relationship if people aren't aware of the different forms of abuse. These behaviors are often subtle and can escalate over time.

In my clinical work, what's unique about working with IPV survivors is the type of psychoeducation provided, the difficulty of sustaining opposing feelings, and helping them recognize unhealthy patterns in their past connections. Many clients that I've worked with only recognized physical or sexual assault as legitimate forms of abuse. However, maltreatment comes in multiple forms including emotional, financial, isolation, coercion, among other types. For that reason, I review the wheel of power and control as psychoeducation. Another aspect that complicates the therapeutic process is holding both loving and difficult emotions toward the perpetrator. For many clients, having conflicting feelings is confusing. Others internalize this and find faults within themselves. Feelings of guilt, shame, or grief are not uncommon. For clients no longer in abusive relationships, I have them identify unhealthy behaviors, explore their values, and establish boundaries. For clients within abusive connections, safety planning and connecting them to community resources is crucial.

As a therapist, I would steer away from having any expectations from the clients. Working with survivors of IPV can be complicated, because sometimes they may return to the perpetrator, which can be difficult for a clinician to comprehend. For that reason, my advice is to meet a client where they are. We can create a healing space and provide information, but ultimately the choice to leave or stay belongs to the client. Regarding resources, I'd recommend connecting them with wrap-around services where housing, employment, financial assistance, case managers, and community programs are available. Leaving a perpetrator is destabilizing and even more complex when children and pets are involved. For that reason, connecting them to comprehensive services is essential to help them thrive in the next chapter of their lives.

I'm excited to share my insights on managing countertransference. Over time, I've come to see countertransference as an opportunity for growth rather than just a challenge, transforming potential obstacles into pathways for deeper therapeutic connections. In my contribution to Psychotherapists IO, I bring this enthusiasm to the forefront, offering practical strategies for clinicians to harness self-awareness and enhance their practice.

The following is my piece:

It is normal for different emotions to arise within the therapeutic relationship because everyone has a unique identity, values, and worldview. The American Psychological Association defines countertransference as "the therapist's unconscious (and often conscious) reactions to the patient" (2018). In other words, countertransference is how a therapist feels or reacts toward a client. There are multiple ways to manage countertransference including self-examination, consultation with a colleague, personal therapy, referring out, or supervision.

As a clinician, I often try to examine my emotional state because it also helps me decipher what feelings are mine and which belong to the client. For example, I recall having a new intake and feeling relatively calm. However, five minutes into the session I felt a wave of anxiety. During the appointment, I noticed the client had restless body language and changes in their breathing patterns. After practicing emotionally regulative tools, they described never attending therapy and feeling nervous. After the session, I processed the incident and recognized that I was experiencing my client's emotional state, not my own, and felt better afterward.

Other tools to manage countertransference include consulting with a colleague, a supervisor, referring out, and engaging in personal therapy. About two years ago, I naively attempted to provide couples therapy. Initially, I was excited, but I ended up having strong countertransference and difficult cases. I noticed feeling drained or hopeless after sessions. First, I consulted with my supervisor, and we reviewed helpful interventions that I could implement. In doing so, it helped build my confidence, enhanced my professional development, and assisted in making meaningful changes. Afterward, I consulted with my colleagues and found their insights equally helpful.

However, I realized early on that some of these couples would be better served if referred to a more seasoned clinician. After doing so, I felt better and hoped those clients would receive the help they need. Personal therapy is also important because sooner or later a client may also reflect a similar wound we possess. For that reason, personal therapy is the key to helping others navigate their own painful experiences.

American Psychological Association. (2018, April 19). APA Dictionary of Psychology. American Psychological Association. https://dictionary.apa.org/countertransference

I am thrilled to have the opportunity to contribute my expertise to MomJunction, a platform dedicated to empowering and educating women on various aspects of relationships and personal well-being. I am eager to share valuable content that can help women build healthier relationships and foster their emotional resilience.

In the article, "20 Signs He’s Using You," the focus is on identifying the red flags that indicate a partner may be exploiting a relationship rather than fostering a mutually supportive partnership. It highlights key indicators such as lack of meaningful communication, reluctance to commit, self-focused behavior in both emotional and physical aspects, and the absence of genuine interest in the partner’s dreams and goals.

The following is my piece:

Relationships are not easy, and they become increasingly difficult when only one person is invested in the connection. Common feelings a person may experience in this type of relationship are ambiguity, confusion, frustration, disappointment, or sadness.

When someone is uninterested, the other partner’s needs and wants are left unmet. For example, let’s imagine a partner who wants to spend quality time. However, when they communicate their request their partner declines, and subsequently their emotional needs are unfulfilled. Other behaviors to note include avoidance, redirection from the original topic, or denial without a conversation or a compromise.

In this type of connection, a partner may feel that they’re compromising their values or it might feel inequitable. Let’s say one part of a couple values marriage and the other is adamant about it. To continue in this connection, the partner who values marriage must sacrifice that part of themselves. Over time, this can lead to frustration or resentment, which will ultimately impact the relational dynamic. It’s okay for people to have different views and values. However, it’s important to recognize reoccurring patterns and what a person’s boundaries are within the relationship.

An uninterested partner may stay in this connection for multiple reasons including familiarity, benefits from the connection, and emotional immaturity. For some people, familiarity feels safe and comfortable. Ending a relationship or starting anew may elicit feelings of fear or anxiety. For that reason, it’s easier to stay. People who have kind and loving partners have no reason orincentive to let them go. On the contrary, their goal may be to remain by their side to continue receiving whatever benefits they do. Lastly, it requires emotional maturity to have a sincere conversation and end a relationship.

I'm thrilled to share that my latest article, "How Can a Therapeutic Approach Fit a Client's Needs?" is now featured on Psychotherapists.io! Contributing to such a dynamic platform has been incredibly rewarding, and I’m excited to bring my personal insights and experiences to this community.

The following is my piece:

Providing therapy to clients is a privilege because therapists are privy to their inner world, challenges, and vulnerabilities. Adjusting therapy increases the possibilities of client retention, engagement, and an overall positive experience. During the therapeutic process, there are multiple techniques that clinicians can utilize including providing options during therapy, requesting feedback, among other strategies.

While I'm providing therapy, I sometimes run into an issue. As a client is sharing their concern, I quickly think of multiple ways to address their problem. However, instead of selecting an approach, I turn the decision-making process to the client. First, I'm transparent by sharing the multiple approaches dilemma. After which, I educate clients on the different interventions and answer their questions. Finally, I reassure them by stating we can always change course if a choice doesn't resonate with them. In doing so, I hope to encourage active participation, empower clients by trusting their decisions, and slowly build their confidence.

Another method a clinician can use is directly asking a client for feedback. However, it's important to be mindful of a client's communication style and culture when implementing this technique. For some clients, this request is straightforward and can generate insightful information. However, others may find this task difficult because it's uncomfortable. For these clients, I change my request for feedback to, "I'm trying to professionally grow and improve how I provide therapy, do you have any suggestions?" This statement normally provides the information I'm looking for.

Other tips to consider include asking clients about their past experiences with clinicians and being flexible. When I begin working with a new client, I like to assess what they enjoyed and disapproved of during their work with other therapists. By doing so, I tailor my therapy style by incorporating what they enjoy and limiting what they dislike. In the earlier stages of my career, I loved creating an agenda and resuming sessions where the client left off last time. However, after years in the field, I realized that people are dynamic and fluid. For that reason, I believe that being flexible is a strength in therapy. Being adaptive encourages a clinician to shift from a therapist-centered perspective to a more client-centered approach.

I am excited to share my knowledge with UpJourney on how to understand and deal with anxiety. It was a great honor to be part of this article piece that focuses the growth and mental health of individuals.

Everyone experiences anxiety at different points in their lives. Anxiety itself is not inherently bad. For some people, the feeling serves as motivation to complete a task, or others may perceive it as excitement toward a new activity. However, some individuals experience anxiety to a debilitating extent, disrupting their daily lives. Before we discuss methods to help loved ones who struggle with anxiety, it is crucial to recognize the common types and how they manifest.

What are the different types of anxiety, and what do they look like?

• Separation anxiety disorder

Individuals who have separation anxiety disorder experience excessive anxiety or fear when separated from their home or the people to whom they’ve grown attached. People with this concern may withdraw from others, experience sadness, demonstrate a lack of interest, and have difficulty concentrating. However, simply missing someone does not mean the diagnosis is present.

Individuals with this concern illustrate:

• Continuous and excessive distress

• Worry that something terrible may happen

• Refuse to leave the household

• Have nightmares

• Describe physical complaints about separating from the home or to whom they’re attached

• Specific phobia

Individuals with a specific phobia diagnosis experience excessive fear or anxiety when an object or situation is present. People with this issue may engage in avoidance behaviors or experience physical arousal when confronted with the feared object or situation. Nevertheless, feeling scared is normal and part of the human experience. What differentiates people with a specific phobia are that their feelings are severe, their emotions are evoked when presented with the object or situation, the feelings are inconsistent with the actual danger posed, and they may partake in avoidance behaviors.

• Social anxiety disorder

Individuals with a diagnosis of social anxiety disorder experience severe fear or anxiety in social situations where they may be scrutinized or negatively judged. People with this concern may blush, tremble, sweat, or stumble over their words. Alternatively, they may take charge of a conversation, have a rigid body posture, or speak with an overly soft voice. This comment does not mean that people who are introverted, extroverted, or shy have a social anxiety disorder. Instead, people with this diagnosis fear that others may negatively judge them during social situations, leading to their disapproval or accidentally offending someone.

• Agoraphobia

People with a diagnosis of agoraphobia experience fear or anxiety about an actual or possible exposure to multiple situations, including:

• Using public transportation

• Being in open spaces

• Being in enclosed spaces

• Standing in line

• Being in a crowd

• Being outside the home alone, among other situations

Individuals with this concern may find it difficult to leave their homes, rely on others for assistance (i.e., groceries), can feel demoralized or depressed. Some people prefer to stay at home, which is perfectly fine. What differentiates people with a diagnosis of agoraphobia is that they avoid certain situations because they believe escaping from them will be difficult or assistance to leave the situation may not be available.

• Generalized anxiety disorder

Individuals with a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder experience excessive worry or anxiety about multiple issues. Unlike the other disorders where the anxiety could be traced to an object, situation, or individual, in this diagnosis, the anxiety is around most things. People with a generalized anxiety disorder may experience muscle tension, trembling, twitching, muscle aches, soreness, sweating, nausea, shortness of breath, dizziness, stress, and headaches, to name a few physical symptoms. Feeling worried about a job or the outcome of an exam is normal. What differentiates people with this diagnosis is that their anxiety has reached a level of severity that affects their daily lives. Their worry isn’t about one or two things but how they navigate the world around them.

Clinical treatments for anxiety:

Encourage them to undergo psychotherapy with a trained professional

Psychotherapy is highly recommended to treat different forms of anxiety. Therapy involves speaking with a trained professional about the presenting concern and working through the issue in therapy.

One method used in the therapeutic context is psychoeducation which consists of educating the individual about their condition and the physiological symptoms they may experience.

While there are multiple therapeutic approaches to treating anxiety, cognitive behavioral therapy is one of the most empirically validated interventions. In cognitive-behavioral therapy, the individual becomes aware of how their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are interconnected and strives to change one of these three aspects to create an overall change in relation to their anxiety.

Use prescribed psychotropic medications

Psychotropic medication can also be used, depending on the severity of the anxiety and if it’s clinically indicated. The most common forms of medication for anxiety are selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI) and selective noradrenaline reuptake inhibitors (SNRI). However, it’s essential to speak with a psychiatrist or a medical professional to determine if that’s the best option.

How to help someone with anxiety:

Empathize and “normalize” the situation

Witnessing someone experience anxiety from the outside might not make sense. Even if you cannot comprehend them, empathizing makes a difference.

Let them know they are not alone in their struggle

For instance, stating, “What you’re going through must be hard; I’m sorry you’re going through that,” or “If you need support, please let me know.” By empathizing, you are communicating to the individual that they are not alone in their difficulties, strengthening their support system.

Consider sharing your anxiety experience

Another method to empathize is recalling when you experienced anxiety and if you feel comfortable sharing the story. Even though you’re not experiencing the exact emotion, a part of you can begin to understand, which leads to emotional depth and the creation of safety between you and the other person.

Normalization is equally important, but its usage depends on the individual. When you normalize, you acknowledge that the situation or emotion is normal and that other people experience it. For instance, “It’s normal to feel worried.” The purpose of normalization is to help the individual feel less ostracized and alone in their difficulties. However, this technique can also be invalidating depending on the individual. For that reason, I reserve normalization for individuals who negatively label themselves.

Suggest meditation and belly breathing

Advising a loved one to take a couple of minutes from their day is an effective method to address anxiety. Research has demonstrated that meditation reduces anxiety symptoms. It works because it helps people attune to themselves and gain awareness of the present moment. A core issue surrounding anxiety is the inability to stay in the present because the focus is on the future. More often than not, clients that present with anxiety create hypothetical scenarios and act accordingly even though their reality doesn’t reflect those situations. For that reason, the ability to stay present is crucial for people that are struggling with anxiety.

There are also multiple forms of meditation, which includes:

• Focusing on your awareness

• A sensation

• Utilizing a mantra

However, suggesting meditation might not be enough. Instead, offering to practice meditation with the individual might increase their likelihood of trying this technique.

Another way to help a loved one is by suggesting belly breathing or diaphragmatic breathing. When you breathe in deeply, you activate an automatic process within your body called the parasympathetic nervous system, which allows you to experience calmness and relaxation. In turn, this process reduces symptoms of anxiety.

To perform this exercise, you place one hand on your chest and another on top of your stomach, which is under your ribcage. Then you slowly breathe in through your nose. Afterward, you hold your breath for a couple of seconds and breathe out more air than you inhaled. During this process, your stomach should be moving outward, not your chest. It’s a simple but empowering exercise because individuals can learn how to relax their bodies at any time by controlling their breathing.

Use guided imagery and cold water

Another way to help a loved one is by asking them to imagine a place that elicits feelings of peace or calmness. In moments of anxiety, the individual can recall the peaceful place through visualization. In doing so, their anxiety lessens because it’s intended to have a soothing effect. Using cold water is an emotionally regulative tool that can also be applied to anxiety. In a moment of distress, the individual can hold an ice cube for seven to ten seconds or splash their face with cold water. Both exercises aim to decrease your heart rate, regulate your body temperature, and reorient the person to the present. In doing so, the individual won’t have time to focus on their anxious thoughts.

Do exercise in combination with therapy

While the research has demonstrated mixed findings about exclusively using exercise to reduce worry, working out in combination with therapy has decreased anxiety. More specifically, yoga has reduced anxiety symptoms, especially for individuals with more severe forms of anxiety.

Seek professional assistance for moderate to severe anxiety

When you demonstrate empathy, understanding, and support, it helps more than you know. The strategies covered in this article are simple tools that people with anxiety can use or that loved ones can share. However, it’s not intended to replace therapy.

If someone you know is severely or moderately affected by anxiety, please seek professional assistance. There are trained professionals who can help with this mental health issue. Neither you nor your loved one has to be alone in this process.

Understanding Catastrophic thinking: Insights from Dr. Sandra Zuazo and other professionals.

I'm delighted to have been involved with the article about Catastrophizing published by HealthCentral. In this informative piece, cognitive distortions are explored, which are a type of thought pattern where individuals expect the worst possible outcomes and is associated to anxiety.

Key Highlights:

Definition and Identification: Learn how to recognize when you're falling into the trap of catastrophizing and understand its impact on mental well-being.

Psychological Mechanisms: Understand the underlying psychological processes that prompt one to engage in catastrophizing and how it affects both behavior and mood.

Practical Strategies: Helpful coping skills to address challenging negative thought patterns and developing a different perspective.

Real-Life Applications: Case studies and examples will be presented to show how catastrophizing works in natural settings.

Why It Matters: Catastrophizing is a really common problem that could affect one's mental health, relationships, and general happiness. Being able to understand this particular cognitive distortion can lead to an improved mood and healthier habits.

I encourage you to read the full article here for a deeper understanding of catastrophizing and how you can take proactive steps toward a positive and empowered mindset.